Nick Tramontin, one of the standout stars from season 3 of Netflix’s The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On, is opening up about his regrets during the experimental dating show. Known for its dramatic premise—where couples face an ultimatum to either get engaged or part ways—the reality series placed participants under intense scrutiny, often bringing underlying issues to the forefront.
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For Nick, 38, the journey was as much about self-discovery as it was about love, and now he’s addressing what he wishes he’d done differently. Speaking on the December 26 episode of The Viall Files podcast, hosted by former Bachelor Nick Viall, Nick did not shy away from the lessons he learned—and the mistakes he made.
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Regrets and Reflection
“I definitely did not love how I handled myself,” Nick admitted during the candid conversation, joined by his now ex-girlfriend Sandy Gallagher, 28. “I should have done way more of this—drinking water—and way less of the other stuff I was drinking. It’s pretty clear, I think.”
Nick’s remarks referenced his struggles with alcohol during filming. Over the course of the experiment, his substance use and emotional volatility became prominent issues, impacting his interactions with others. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was having a very difficult time being in my apartment, and it just, kind of, tallied up and tallied up,” he said. “I was far more emotionally volatile or reactive than I would ever want to show up for somebody that I care for. I don’t think I showed up with my true authentic self.”
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The Journey of Nick and Sandy
Before appearing on The Ultimatum, Nick and Sandy had been dating on and off for nine months. Their relationship’s foundation was already shaky, prompting them to join the show in hopes of clarity. On the series, couples temporarily split to explore relationships with other participants, creating a “trial marriage” environment. Nick was paired with Mariah Zernik, while Sandy connected with J.R. Warren.
However, Nick’s experience took an unexpected turn when Mariah left the experiment early to reunite with her now-fiancé Caleb Lefterys. This left Nick navigating the remainder of the trial alone, intensifying his feelings of isolation.
“I think that’s just hard to digest in any scenario, especially when you have to watch it on television,” Nick said of his solo journey. Reflecting on the experience, he shared that substance abuse had been an “ebb and flow” issue in his life, which the show’s environment exacerbated. “I recognized through the experience that I needed to take a harder look at it.”
Struggles with Substance Use
Nick’s struggles with alcohol were not new, but his time on The Ultimatum illuminated the need for change. “It had been something that came up in our relationship prior,” he said, acknowledging that his drinking habits often created friction. “Sometimes I’d feel like I had it together, and then sometimes I’d dip back into it.”
The reality star described using alcohol as a coping mechanism to “escape” from his emotions and challenges. “I was not in a good mental place, I think that’s pretty clear,” he said. “I wasn’t getting the kind of mental health support and system to avoid falling back into that pattern.”
A Wake-Up Call
Following the show and his subsequent breakup with Sandy, Nick took steps to address his behavior. “I did go to check in and see what I could do for myself to change that behavior,” he revealed. “I never recognized it as something that I really needed to get help with, and it’s been hard. It’s something that is so socially accepted, especially on shows like these where everybody’s having a drink.”
Nick’s candidness underscores the pressure reality TV participants face in highly dramatized settings. “It’s really hard to take a step back from yourself and look at that pattern,” he said, noting the challenges of disentangling himself from destructive habits in such an environment.
Support and Resilience
Despite their breakup, Nick commended Sandy for her unwavering support during his sobriety journey. “No matter what my frustrations were with her, the show, and the breakup, she was always consistently supportive of me and getting to a better place,” he said.
Sandy, who also appeared on the podcast, described how she navigated Nick’s struggles during their relationship. “I really gave it my all with trying to be there for you and show up for you,” she said. “I would drop everything and go make sure he was OK if he was struggling with certain things.”
While their romantic relationship didn’t survive, both emphasized their amicable terms post-show. Nick also shared that he’s begun dating again, hinting at a more compatible connection with his new partner. “We’re far more on the same page than I ever was with Sandy,” he said.
Looking Ahead
Nick’s journey highlights the complexities of reality TV and its lasting impact on participants. His candid reflections serve as a reminder that behind the on-screen drama, real people face real struggles. For Nick, addressing his substance use and emotional health marks a turning point in his personal growth.
As he moves forward, Nick hopes to continue his journey of self-improvement and authenticity. “It’s about showing up as my true self, and I’m working on that every day,” he said.
